


Backwash

by The_Once_and_Future_Queen



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Canon Typical Violence, Guilt, M/M, Mini Fic, Poor Will, Sadness, Violence, he's so sad, sfw (semi)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-03
Updated: 2016-07-03
Packaged: 2018-07-19 18:53:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7373476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Once_and_Future_Queen/pseuds/The_Once_and_Future_Queen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>3. A condition, usually undesirable, that continues long after the event which caused it. post-S3</p>
            </blockquote>





	Backwash

**Author's Note:**

> First Hannibal fic. I'm in the process of repairing the italics, so bear with me.

“His death,” _Your death _. “Was unexpected. He escaped,” _After he saved you _. “And turned up a few weeks later. He had been shot 17 times in the chest by a paranoid driver on his way to Wolf Trap, Virginia.” _He wanted to get a last glimpse of the life he could have lived with you if you’d said yes _. Will flicked to the next slide and tried not to feel like shit about Hannibal’s death. It showed a picture of Dolarhyde spread eagled where Will and Hannibal had left him. Will didn't feel guilty.______

“I don't know why he did came back,” _Liar _. “I just thought he would run. It was the smart thing to do. He wouldn't have been caught again, and he could've started a new life in a remote country where no one would bother him.” _His death is on your hands _. Will tried not to think about what it would have been like if he had just gone with Hannibal, what would have happened if he had just accepted Hannibal's offer from the beginning, before all this mess started. He took a shaky breath and continued.____

“I was unconscious as soon as I hit the water, because I fell head first.” _Hannibal tried to take the brunt of the impact. You screwed it up by trying to push against him as you fell _. “He tried to catch most of the force of the landing, because I don't think he had realised that I wouldn't go with him.” Liar.__

“I think, at some point, I really did love him like he loved me.” _And yet you still left him _. Will tried to ignore the sympathetic and terrified stares directed at his back. “I felt like I owed him something- like I was indebted to him. I don't know why. He just… Has...” _Had _. ”An air about himself that just makes you feel inferior and needy.”____

Will switched to the next slide. It was the prison truck Dolarhyde had thrown off the road. Two policemen lay dead inside the the back. Again, Will didn't feel guilty. Just a numb, clinical detachment.

“Francis Dolarhyde shot the driver and ran this van off the road. The two officers in the back with me and Hannibal were killed when we hit the ditch.” _You killed them. Their death is on your hands _. “I didn't mean for them to die.” _Trying to justify your sins to dead men- weak _. He flipped to the next slide. It showed Hannibal crumpled on the highway in the bloodstained undershirt he had been wearing when he and Will had fallen off the cliff. There were too many bullet holes, and his stomach turned. He took a shaky breath and tried to refocus on the image before him through the sheen of water in his eyes.____

“The, uh, the scene of his death.” _You have the audacity to shed a tear over his death- the death you caused. You should have died in his place _. “A lot of people have been… Congratulating me on surviving him.” _You didn’t _. “I didn’t.” The voice in his head held its tongue. “I don’t have a religion, but if I did, I would think of Hannibal a god in disguise. An old, malevolent, curious god, trying to see what his creations would do if he tested them.” A picture of Hannibal’s office.____

“He did speak a lot of gods and death. Sometimes I think he thought of himself as a god- a being above others, waiting for the cattle to realise the power he held over them.” _He gave you his everything. You had more power over him than he had over his victims, and you abused it _. Will’s face felt hot, like he had run a 12k without any water. He scrubbed a hand from his forehead down to his chin, and his fingers came away wet. The sweat on his hand looked like blood in the afterglow cast by the projector. He tried not to remember looking back at the stain of his blood on the roiling bay water as Hannibal tried to shield their limp bodies from the icy wind that whipped around them. Will thought vaguely that if he had cooperated they might have survived each other. He knew he was wrong.__

“He was a devil in a person suit.” _You are too _. “That's the whole of it. Many people have been trying to dissect him- try to figure out what was so wrong with his mind.” _You knew. You got in his head, and you knew his secrets. You were faithful, up until the moment you weren’t _. “Most of them come to the same conclusion. My assignment for you is to analyse and dissect him yourself, and write me a two page report on your process and conclusion. I expect a properly formatted bibliography, and I only want sources from FBI records and interviews with victims. If I find anything from a tabloid journalist, you will get a zero for the semester. Class dismissed.”____

His students began filing out the door, and he circled the podium so he was facing the rows of seats that had been occupied as he spoke. He snatched up his bag, shoved his laptop and a few scattered file folders into it, and yanked his dirty jacket from the back of his chair. The coat Hannibal had bought for him was hidden at the back of the closet, gathering dust as Will tried not to think about it. He scrubbed a hand across his cheeks to remove any evidence of his emotion, and swept out the door without a second glance to the little room he had devoted so much of his time to.

**Author's Note:**

> The "your death" was meant to signify that part of Will died with Hannibal. Leave a review if you so choose.


End file.
